Shattered Heart
by Arja2436
Summary: A songfic about how Kagome feels about Inuyasha and Kikyou, and her struggles with hiding her true feelings.


_Shattered Heart_

_By Arja 2436_

_The lyrics are in italics. Hope you like it, its my first time writing a angst one shot. R&R please because I want to know how to improve! The song is "Shattered Glass" By Brittney Spears. Enjoy!_

_**Oh, oh, oh, oo-oo-oo-oo-oh**_

_**Oh, oh, oh, oo-oo-oo-oo-oh**_

**Kagome sat quietly at the top of the wooden stairs leading down to the well. After the Shikon no Tama was completed she wasn't sure what she would do. Thanks to the Feudal Era she had lost all hope of getting a scholarship and well she wasn't going to get into a university on the grades she was getting now. However, she couldn't explain why she was gone so often- they would ever believe her. Kagome sighed dropping her head onto her knees. She wasn't sure where she belonged any more. **

_**Did I wake you?**_

**Kagome smiled sadly as she stood. It was night time and no matter how much Inuyasha was eager to search for jewel shards, he would still be sleeping quietly, his fluffy ears twitching occasionally as he dreamt.**

_**Were you sleeping?**_

**However, he might think that they didn't notice when he snuck out to see Kikyo, she did. Every time he left she woke up and wondered what they were doing. Was he kissing her? Holding her? **

_**Were you still in the bed?**_

**Moving away from the well, she decided it wasn't worth the pain to night- the pain of seeing the hanyou she loved going off to another woman.**

_**Or is a nightmare keeping you up instead?**_

**Kagome laughed, it was bitter, the laugh of some one who has been hurt to much to remain that innocent. Inuyasha didn't even realize he was cutting her heart to pieces each time he left, or that she cried herself to sleep after he left on one of his night time visits.**

_**Ooh baby, are you feeling guilty for what you did?**_

**Inuyasha would never understand. To him she was just a copy of Kikyou- a picture of what he had lost. She wasn't herself, no matter how much he called her Kagome she could still see in his eyes she was a replica- a mirror of Kikyou. And it killed her to see it, even though he wasn't even aware he did it.**

_**If you think you're hurting, you ain't seen nothing yet**_

**She remembered when they thought Kikyou had been killed by Naraku. The pain in his eyes clouded out everyone- he only say his own suffering, not realizing or caring that she was suffering more than he was. Not that she would ever admit it but it destroyed her from the inside out watching the man she loved running from her to another. To release him and let him go- it killed her as she hide behind the mask of a **

**smile.**

_**[Refrain:]**_

_**Was it really worth it?**_

**Kikyou was dead but to Inuyasha it didn't seem to matter. In his eyes there was Kikyou and Kagome was merely a facet of Kikyou, an extension -a mistake. He had once agreed to go to hell with Kikyou, never thinking about the girl he had said he would protect, as she watched helplessly tied to a tree. Should she have let him go? It would have solved the pain of wearing a mask over her emotions, Kagome thought. Should I really go back? They could get Kikyou to do the jewel finding- he was always making her aware that all she was was a jewel detector… so wouldn't Kikyou be better?**

_**Was she everything that you were lookin for?**_

**Kagome knew that Inuyasha viewed her as a liability, but Kikyou was perfect. She had developed miko powers, and a master archer. No matter how many shots she made he never once said thank you, or that she, Kagome was a excellent archer too. **

_**Feel like a man?**_

**She thought that Inuyasha would have put more thought into his species- Kagome remembered the times she had told him she liked him as he was. Yet, he wanted to become a human for Kikyou. He never admitted that she was fine the way she was. Kagome was the weak human, but Kikyou was the one that he would become like, even though they were the same.**

_**I hope you know that you can't come back**_

**Once he was in hell he was staying, but she felt more that well, after the Shikon jewel was complete , she didn't have a purpose, he would leave her in her world and never spare a second thought as he went to his world, to be with Kikyou.**

_**Cause all we had is broken like shattered glass**_

**The jewel, all the shattered pieces that they picked up were like her heart. For every piece collected, she lost a piece of her heart as she fell deeper in love with a oblivious hanyou. Without realizing it, he was burrowing deeper into her heart and along the way, he was gouging out holes in each memory, creating a bitter sweet love that was destroying her. For every moment they had, she had witnessed a movement with Kikyou.**

_**[Chorus:]**_

_**You're gonna see me in your dreams tonight**_

**A single tear dropped down Kagome's face and she wiped it away quickly. There was no reason she should cry, she never had a chance. Even after she had saved him from Kaguya, bringing him back from going wild, he hadn't seen her feelings. Since he didn't return them, he wouldn't see them.**

_**My face is gonna haunt you all the time**_

**Kagome wondered if Inuyasha ever thought of the time she had sacrificed herself to save him. Desperately throwing her body in front of his muscled one, the sacred arrow digging in to her back. Did he ever see her, slowly falling from him? Did he see her the time she almost died in the burning house? Did he see her at all, everything she did, everything she gave up?**

_**I promise that you gon' want me back**_

**Whenever he came to take her back, it hurt. In his eyes, the quest couldn't be finished faster. But what about her? Which world did she belong in? The world that was mundane, grey, polluted. Or the world that made heartbroken heart shatter scattering like silver hair in the wind. Him or her world…she would only have one after the battle.**

_**When your world falls apart like shattered glass**_

**Seeing them together, her heart shattered. Kagome didn't have much more. Everything he asked her to do was for Kikyou, everything that she did for Kikyou hurt her but she wouldn't be so petty. Sealing her emotions behind a mask **

_**Glass, glass, glass**_

**All glass is the same once its been shattered. Its just colorless and cleat shards, fragments that will never be put back together. Her heart would never be the same once it was shattered it was just shattered glass, fragments of her heart.**

**Hey I hope you like it - I do hope it was angst-y enough for all of you. Before anyone asks, there is another verse of the song but it didn't quite fit because it became defiant and that is not what this songfic is about! **


End file.
